haven't updated in a while so... car broke, car fixed, me broke, me still have no money :P woke up ill this morning... have to leave in half hour for chtown, have a meeting at 1:30, haven't eaten anything yet... not ready for this stupid meeting. sigh. no word from the medical center yet. as of now, still no job. very grumpy and sick. perhaps more later, if i am ever happy and well.

Who woulda thunk the SMC would be closed today?

Currently watching: Maury Povich and being grateful my life does not include ANY of the guests' problems :P

So, today is a holiday... no classes... which means a semi-relaxin day...

things that need to get done
- job search techniques project (this is one project that will actually come in handy :)
- direcory project (again, this will be helpful if i EVER get a job in my field)
- go to the SMC to drop of resume
- study for anatomy 1 test tomorrow (hopefully)

Worked yesterday for a couple of hours. It was awfully cold, my fingers were numb by the end of the night. The wind just blew right in through the front windows. It's amazing the amount of people that will come out in weather like that and stand in line outside for ice cream :P

As for the rest of the week: I have class tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, and then i am going to o'leary on friday. the days are numbered that i will be spending in charlottetown... the countdown at the moment is 14 possible days...

Currently listening to: Rock the Casbah/ Clash

I love this song. It was in the soundtrack to Brokedown Palace. If you haven't seen it you should. Seems to me it was based on a true story. Basically two girls are graduating from high school and go to Thailand for summer vacation and end up getting framed with drugs and sent to jail. Anyways, that's all I'll say except watch it :P

Slept in super late this morning (till 11:30), it felt great :D I really needed that.

Working today at 5...

It's going to be a pretty quiet day. I think I am going to go shower and maybe watch a movie before I leave...

Why is it to get a job you need experience, but to get experience you need a job?

It's a very difficult concept for me to grasp. When I finish this course I will have lots of experience transcribing, which is what I want to do. I will even have spent time on the job training to develop my skill. Yet no one wants to be the one to hire an entry level transcriptionist. They all want someone who has a year's experience. Which I can't get without someone giving me a chance.

Today has been one of those lazy days. I couldn't wake up this morning and I missed my drive to Charlottetown. I should have taken my car down, however, I didn't have enough cash to buy gas to get me there and back. So I went back to sleep, with plans of getting lots of work done today. I woke up at 12. And got nothing done all day. Sigh.

I watched CSI tonight, where one of the guys was buried alive and it will undoubtedly give me nightmares. I hate that. If I watch anything like that before bed, I dream about it all night. It's enough for me not to want to go to sleep...

Currently Wishing: I had the funds to travel to Europe for my birthday this year.

Finished my OJT yesterday and got a highly unexpected honorarium. I couldn't believe it!!! Tres exciting.

Had to come to Charlottetown today for a sesson on Stress and Empowerment which actually turned out to be a genuinely good presentation. I truly enjoyed myself. Which is definitely surprising. The only problem is that it ended early so now I am stuck here for another hour and a half. Ah well, there is always a bright side and at the very least I am catching up on my blog :P

Still looking for a job... no big prospects on the horizon at the moment but I have stopped caring.

Here's something to think about...

"Thinking positive only makes us become more resentful and depressed" Seem totally unreasonable? I thought so at first but it makes sense after you think about it. Its just not right to think only positive thoughts all the time, it's just not possible. But when we do think negative thoughts we think that there is something wrong with us, so we try to bottle them up and that only makes it worse...

I think I want to shave all the hair off my head. Or at least get an inch or two cut off :P Maybe later tonight... We shall see, we shall see.

I am totally exhausted. I am done travelling so far to get to school in the morning. I have done this for way too long -- 5 years. SIgh. I wonder why I never moved down here. If I had, I would be home now.

I am so sick of always feeling so fake and phony. How come other people can say what is on their mind and it makes sense and others see there side and agree, but when I say what is on mind, people look at me funny and kind of change the subject? It's like my opinion is so far out in left field that it doesn't deserve a response. I mean, I know I can sometimes be the devil's advocate, but it's not like I believe it or would do it myself. Honest.

Sigh. I think I'm gonna go search the job bank.

Home on lunch break and have decided the following:

1. I cannot cook.
2. I am very food wasteful... possibly in the running for the person who wastes the most food ever.
3. I need to stop giving advice when it is not asked for.


YAh, so at the moment I am eating frozen lasanga. Nuf said.

Currently watching: Ellen
Currently wishing: this damn lasagna would turn into something edible

Currently listening to: Don't stop... by Fleetwood Mac

Mike and Nikki stopped by yesterday. The trans-am broke down out by the blue shank, and they got a drive back to our place. Good to see them, though, haven't seen them in ages.

Busy place around here this morning. Leslie took off to the flea market bright and early and mom is heading up west for work in about 10 minutes (the opening day jitters, i guess). I am going to head up a little later for 5. Vicki's house warming is today. Her and Allan bought a house just up the road from us so dad and jess are going to make an appearance there sometime tonight.

Quote of the day: "Who poured you a double mocha grumpy this morning?" BERG

Currently watching: UPEI Graduation 2005

I am watching the first graduation of the year; the second one is at 2... It makes me totally sad. I remember being little and watching it thinking that I would never reach the point of graduating from university and now, i've surpassed it. What a goal. Did absolutley nothing for me, mind you. You'd be surprised how very unfar a bachelor of science by itself will take you. Still, they were a great four years and I wouldn't change them. I would not have discovered how much I enjoy modern art, or physiology, or biology without having been there. So, in the end, it wasn't for naught.

Technically, my dad is graduating this afternoon. He will be the first and only graduate this year of the Applied Arts Degree in Print Journalism. Natalie SHOULD have graduated with him, but for some reason, she isn't on the list. Strange because I think she got all of her credits by Christmas.

This afternoon should be interesting. It will be all the science students, which I am way more familiar with than the arts and business people. I was never really into the business aspect of life.

Today is Saturday. I won't be going far as I still have no money. I guess that I will be putting in a couple of hours or work tomorrow, but after that, je ne sais pas. Aw well, c'est un peu d'argent dans ma poche. (a bit of money in my pocket). I am working on my French again and am considering a course in New Brunswick which will make me fluent en francais. It is a 40 week course and costs about 2600. All in the realm of possibility, we shall see, we shall see.

Ok. I'm back again. This is Friday the 13th... something to think about. And it snowed today. May 13, Friday the 13th, coincidence? *do do do do do do do do* (that's to the tune of the twilight zone if you were wondering :P) TGIF, that is for sure....

Ok, I seriously don't plan on becoming an obsessive blogger, but I had to share -- 69 and 1. That's right 69 and 1.

Ok. Someone graciously pointed out that I do not update enough. Fine. I can remedy that! Be prepared to be bored to tears today.

So, I dreamed alllllllll night last night and I slept in and missed my drive to Charlottetown. Good dreaming tho. Kinda odd, but still. I dreamed about a couple of ex-boyfriends getting the shit kicked out of them... hmm... every girl's dream i think! Anyways, after basically having to beg to get another drive to Charlottetown, now I am here, and messing around on the computer instead of working on my project that we have to present in 2 hours time. Ah well, loads of time left for that :P

I am broke. Well. Not quite yet. But I have 30 dollars to my name until I get a job. I always seem to have no money. It is getting quite discouraging.

Sigh. Back to the books.

I am slowly going crazy 6-5-4-3-2-1 switch

Countdown to end of OJT... 2 more days
Countdown to end of classes... 1 month
Countdown to work... ????????
Countdown to my birthday... 45 days

lalalalalala

Currently reading: Medical Assisting Project
Currently watching: CSI

Ok. I don't necessarily LIKE CSI, but on some strange level am morbidly drawn to it. Trying to finish my AMA project which I left till the last possible minute and now I fear it won't be done on time. ArGh. My own fault, i guess.

Well, it appears as though I am leaving a resume at the Medical Centre. Surprise, surprise. I am also looking into a job in Halifax, but that kinda scares the shit out of me for some reason. But my resume could most certainly use some tweaking :P Any helpful suggestions or offers to help? I could use whatever advice anyone has to give me...


Quote of the day: "Have you ever been in love?" "Abso-fuckin'-lutely" - Carrie and Big, Sex and the City, Season 1, Episode 1

Currently reading: A Day Late and a Dollar Short by Terry McMillan for fun and Mosby's Handbook of Anatomy and Physiology for not fun.

Currently listening to: Smile by Lonestar

I think I should have me foot permanently glued into my mouth, since it always seems to be there anyway.

Currently reading: Altar Ego
Currently listening to: Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

Firewalker - Liz Phair

my hopes are like embers lying
around inside a firebed and
your mind is a firewalker, it steps on
them like they are dead but

i can grow
in spite of all you know
you might not recognize me tomorrow
yes i can change
in spite of all they say
become something strange and beautiful
like joy, like joy

me, i'm like a wild flame that
catches on whatever's near but
your mind is a firewaler, it sets its
course and never veers but

i can grow
in spite of all you know
you might not recognize me tomorrow
yes i can change
in spite of all they say
become something strange and beautiful
like joy, like joy

take offers from every side and give
my attentions about anywhere
do i recognize my actions, i look like
i'm so unaware
like i don't care

but i can grow
in spite of all you know
you might not recognize me tomorrow
yes i can change
in spite of all they say
become something strange and beautiful
like joy, like joy