Back in town
Once again I have graced the hallways of Holland College with my presence. I just went to talk to my instructor to let her know that I don't know what my attendance will be like in the next week or so, and she decided to put me on compassionate leave until the end of the month. All that means is that if I don't finish up the course by the time I am supposed to, I will have this extra time that I can come back and use without having to pay more tuition -- which is a good thing I guess... but hell, I would pay the extra money if I had to... Anyway, I plan on being here tomorrow at least... and hopefully Thursday.
All I have left in the program is a math project -- she said a morning or afternoon would wrap that up, anatomy -- which was reduced from what I had been working on to 10 tests instead of 12 so yay, and finally transcribing.
Gramp didn't wake up at all in the couple of hours I was there last night... when the minister came in at 7 I slipped out...
I got my black jacket back from Amanda last night -- Theresa was going to buy one as she figured she would need it for the wake and funeral so I told her she could use mine if she wanted...
Arlene asked me to make a picture board with "The greatest gift of all lives on in others" to display. So that's kinda good. Keeps my hands busy anyway. Mom is still hardly sleeping and one of the boys are always staying there now. I don't know what to do. I want to be there in the vicinity but the other day I realized that I don't want to be there when the end actually comes. It was just way too painful to count the seconds between his breaths. At one point he only breathed every 30 seconds and we were all just hanging on for his next breath... It's just so painful to watch.
Yesterday, Gram asked him if he remember what he did when they met. Gram had been working at a restaurant and she said a handsome man came in and she didn't want him to catch her looking at him. He acted like he didn't notice her, but when he went to leave, he winked at her three times. He did the same thing yesterday. After he did it once, he kept going and Gram was crying, saying, jumpins we'll never keep him quiet now that we got him going. So his mind is definitely still there... he knows whats going on. He told mom that a truck was coming to take him to the funeral home the other day and the other night he kept saying they're coming at three for me, and i asked who, and he just kept mumbling three, i'll be gone at three... You can barely hear him anymore, his voice is so faint...
Sigh.
I am so thankful for the family tho. Les and Jess especially. We would never get through this without eack other, that is for sure. And with the three of us together with Dad I know we can be strong enough for Mom when she'll need us to be.
All I have left in the program is a math project -- she said a morning or afternoon would wrap that up, anatomy -- which was reduced from what I had been working on to 10 tests instead of 12 so yay, and finally transcribing.
Gramp didn't wake up at all in the couple of hours I was there last night... when the minister came in at 7 I slipped out...
I got my black jacket back from Amanda last night -- Theresa was going to buy one as she figured she would need it for the wake and funeral so I told her she could use mine if she wanted...
Arlene asked me to make a picture board with "The greatest gift of all lives on in others" to display. So that's kinda good. Keeps my hands busy anyway. Mom is still hardly sleeping and one of the boys are always staying there now. I don't know what to do. I want to be there in the vicinity but the other day I realized that I don't want to be there when the end actually comes. It was just way too painful to count the seconds between his breaths. At one point he only breathed every 30 seconds and we were all just hanging on for his next breath... It's just so painful to watch.
Yesterday, Gram asked him if he remember what he did when they met. Gram had been working at a restaurant and she said a handsome man came in and she didn't want him to catch her looking at him. He acted like he didn't notice her, but when he went to leave, he winked at her three times. He did the same thing yesterday. After he did it once, he kept going and Gram was crying, saying, jumpins we'll never keep him quiet now that we got him going. So his mind is definitely still there... he knows whats going on. He told mom that a truck was coming to take him to the funeral home the other day and the other night he kept saying they're coming at three for me, and i asked who, and he just kept mumbling three, i'll be gone at three... You can barely hear him anymore, his voice is so faint...
Sigh.
I am so thankful for the family tho. Les and Jess especially. We would never get through this without eack other, that is for sure. And with the three of us together with Dad I know we can be strong enough for Mom when she'll need us to be.
posted by Allyson @ 8:57 AM
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