20 clues a woman should call it a night
20 clues a woman should call it a night
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the wrong way...BUT...
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drinking.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the wrong way...BUT...
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drinking.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
posted by Allyson @ 5:43 AM
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